Back in the UK...

Hi there,

Finally got to update the Blog. I got back from Puerto Rico on wednesday 11:30 in the morning. The flight from San Juan to Newark was OK. The guy next to me in the window seat was the size of a small child, and he fell asleep as soon as he sat down, which gave me loadsa space.
Then I nearly managed to miss my flight from Newark to London. As I'm a frequent flyer and a platinum member on a lot of airlines I get to go into the Members Lounges. This is cool. Loadsa free booze and nosh should you require so... So I am in the Presidents lounge from Continental Airlines snoozing away when I decide to check what time my flight is. On my ticket it said 20:30 departure. So I have a look around for a clock and, What the F&^$£%k? It's 20:20. Needless to say I legged it fast and just about made it to the gate. When I got on the plane I found that I was on an aisle seat in the middle row of three. Luckily the middle one was free. I thought. I hoped.
Just as the old age pensioners (Stewardesses or trolly dollies....) are getting ready to close the plane door this man mountain shows up. He looked like a cross between Giant Haystacks and
Lord Bath. This guy was nearly as big as the guy on the San Juan flight going out there.
This clown then proceeded to hold up push off by reorganising the luggage of about half the people on the plane. I am getting seriously pissed off at these jackasses that come on board with a rolling bag the size of a fridge. Then they winge that they can't get it into the overhead lockers... Yes, there is a reason for that, you idiot! It is supposed to be handluggage, not for an elephant cage on wheels you dickhead! So after he has fucked everybody off by making the flight late he wedges himself in the seat, waffles a bit, breathes whiskey fumes all over me, closes his eyes and falls asleep on my shoulder. I had a bit of a conference with myself as to what to do with this joker but the answer came from nature. I had eaten a burger in San Juan airport with loadsa onions and that was causing a bit of gas. Needles to say after a few little wafts of my arse the bloke decided that the shoulder of the other guy on the other side was preferential to mine. Strike one to Alex! During the rest of the flight I managed to pour a drink down his trouser leg, keep farting continously which stank like an open sewer, spill half my dinner over his chair while he was not watching and in general made sure that he did not get any more sleep. He looked tired when we got to London, strange init'? I hate economy class travel....

Next week monday I'm off to Suez in Egypt. Wheyhey, kebab, grilled sheep and Stella lager. Not to be confused with the Stella Artois lager from Belgium. This Stella is a genuine Egyptian beer and remarkably good. The job there should be about 5 days so back on saturday.

The DIY project at home as finally slowly moving forward. We now have a working, non leaking, shower and the walls and ceiling of the kitchen are now skimmed and looking good. On saturday finally bought a dish washer and a extractor fan for the cooker so all bits are in place now.
All we need now is a tradesman that can knock all the separate parts together and make it into
a working kitchen. I must say my missus Jackie has done a great job while I was away. All is under control and running fine, she is a star! ( By the way if you spot spelling mistakes in the Blog it is to do with the C key on my laptop. Finally all the cement dust in the places I work has
started taking its toll on this cheap piece of kit....) OK, knocking off time, more tomorrow.

Alex.