Passport? What passport???

Afternoon!

I am at Heathrow Terminal 4 waiting for my flight to sunny Indonesia. Going there for 10 days. First to Jakarta or near there and then on to the Island of Sumatra to a place called Pedang. Should be good for a laugh or two...

This trip nearly didn't happen because of dutch penpushers...
Last week I noticed that my passport only had 4 months left on it. After checking with the Indonesian embassy it was clear that you need 6 months validity left on it. So I call the dutch embassy to find out how to go about getting a new one. This is always a bit tricky as I am dutch but living in the UK. First shock was that they told me that it will take 4 to 5 weeks to get a new passport. What???? Even in the UK they can do it in a day or two... So I ask about a fast track procedure. All I got was the bloke laughing down the phone. 4 weeks or nothing mate...
So The next day I go to Harwich to see the dutch consul. He just confirms what the first joker had told me on the phone. He did have another option though. If I could go in person to the dutch embassy they could do me a Laissez Passer which is some sort of emergency travel document. So the next day I drive - bus - taxi - underground it to Hyde Park to the dutch embassy. Well, that was a right laugh. In the queue with about 150 somalians, ethiopians, Nigerians, all with hordes of crying kids, my idea of a good time....

After queueing for an hour I finally make it past the front gate. There the dutch consul tells me that I CAN travel to indonesia on my passport. I tell her that she should check her doumentation and after she does that she tells me that I am right, I can't travel. Right. That is why I am there you silly moo cow. Then I ask her about the Laissez Passer that the consul in Harwich was about. She informs me that that is only good for getting you back to Holland from wherever you are abroad. Great. When you live in Holland.... Then she tells me that it will take 5 weeks but of I pay her extra she can do me a temporary emergency passport valid for 1 year?!?!?!?! Well, I don't care about the money so I nearly snap her arm off agreeing to this. So 3 hours later I have my application for a new full passport in and a am holding a new shiny temp passport. Excellent.

By the way, it is the gayest passport you will have ever seen. It is bright pink and only 10 pages thick but hey, if it is going to get me into the country of Satay Ajam, Kroepoek, Babi Pangang, I am not complaining.

Today is gonna be a long day, I have a flight to Amsterdam, then onto Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, then on to Jakarta and then possibly on to Pedang. I don't even know yet if any one will be picking me up in Jakarta when I arrive tomorrow afternoon, never mind, if there is no-one there I will find the most expensive hotel and go to bed and let them find me!

OK, more later, there is free booze to be hoovered here in the business lounge!

Cheerio,

Alex.